it-is's Diaryland Diary

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mirror monsters and their accidental gifts

Yesterday took a turn for the bizarre and unpredictable and beautiful. Went to the park to see the cherry blossoms and the hordes of people taking selfies with their phones, LC brought me, she wanted to see the majesty. I thought they were pretty, but my ability to be moved by beauty is/was pretty dampened by the black tar emptiness. A man covered in mirrors was entertaining (terrifying?) children in the crowd. LC convinced me to creep in for a photo next to the mirror monster and my terrified childhood-trauma self was caught in the act by a tanned, curly-haired man with multiple earrings and acid-washed jeans and the kind of dark-circle sleepy eyes I die for. He laughed at me and then I recognized him, from a match on some dating app. LC and I talked to him for a bit, and I didn't say anything, I couldn't tell if he recognized me. As he walked away with his friend, I turned to LC and told her who he was, and went for my phone to show her, as I watched him doing the same. He looked at his phone, then turned to me and pointed as an unspoken question, and I nodded, and then he was back and LC was holding his puppy and we were all introducing ourselves and I liked him, pretty much instantly. He has the widest, most beautifully sincere and open smile and isn't afraid to admit how he feels or what he thinks. And he thinks and feels a lot. He's kind to his neighbors, goes out of his way to help literal old ladies with their shopping, and speaks to everyone as if he's known them his whole life. He wants to draw me and explore abandoned buildings and create with me, hear about my writing and provide a safe space when I need it and hold me when I'm sad and this is the scary stuff, this is the vulnerable stuff, and I know I'm terrified, but it's almost summer and the sun is finally out and people are shedding their winter skins and emerging from the dark and maybe, maybe this summer I will too.

11:40 a.m. - 2022-05-08

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